This article is not about giving advice to anyone. It is just me, sharing my experience with you all. I might say I am trying to offload my emotions through my writing.
Divorce is not so uncommon nowadays. In fact, I hear more divorce stories than engagement story. My story is not very uncommon or special but it still is my story.
I thought I had a fairytale love and wedding, hence when my world starts crumbling, I did not realise it can go so far from happiness towards separation.
Mother of a kid and a loyal wife, I have no clue what went wrong but we started fighting suddenly. The fights came out of nowhere. We realized we need to maintain distance and get some counselling. We started visiting a therapist. But somewhere my husband didn’t seem interested in sorting this out. I wanted this to work desperately for my kid.
One day out of nowhere he asked me if we separate, who takes the kid. It left me dumbstruck. I knew we were not doing good but I didn’t realize we had reached a point where we were discussing child custody. My kid, my girl, could not stay without me. I have been with her since the day she was put into my arms. Her father loved her, took care of her but he did not understand the emotional connect we shared. So I could not imagine he would want to pull my daughter away from me.
I made up my mind to give up on my marriage but not my kid. But I did not want to drag my kid into a custody battle. She was my angel and she did not deserve to be crushed amongst the selfishness of two adults. In the meantime, my then husband was not very much interested in what I had to say as every conversation we had, turned into a fight. Yes, we had misunderstandings but I was not negative towards him. I wanted to work on things but he had given up.
One day my best friend asked me a question which made me really nauseous and blank for few seconds. She asked me to be sure that he is not having an affair as nothing else seems to justify his behaviour. I could not believe, the man I was one so in love with, the one who was once upon a time, heads over heels for me was having an affair while we were still married.
I started noticing his pattern. He was always out on business meetings, he was always texting someone he called his client. I was never the wife who could spy. I had only one way of finding out the truth, by confronting him. I told him politely that if he likes someone maybe I can deal with it and move on. He flatly denied it and blamed me for accusing him. By this time I was sure, affair or no affair, I needed a peaceful life. I needed to part my ways with him but I could not drag my daughter into it.
I sat down with him and a counsellor. I explained all I needed was to part my ways with him peacefully. I did not want a fight over who gets to keep my daughter as if she was a commodity. We both are her parents and she needs both of us. We both agreed on a joint custody where I get to keep my daughter on weekdays and she goes to her dad on weekend.
We parted our ways without getting into petty fights. We did it for our daughter. A few months later I came to know he was having an affair with a client. I am not sure if it started when we were married or not but it made me realize, we really had drifted apart as he could move on so fast.
I really do not care who he is with as long as he is a good dad to my daughter. I know life can get harsh at times but I have my daughter and that is all I ever wanted. I met a great guy who is accepting of my past and who I am and I am really happy. Sometimes I feel lucky that I got another shot at being happy.
I feel hurdles come but life moves on. My hurdles have made me stronger and I do not regret anything. I am happy today and that is what matters the most…