My 20’s were about men, career, relationships and self-transformation. But there are certain lessons I have learnt which I wish I knew beforehand.
With my experience on this matter here are 7 essential relationship advice for women out there searching for their Mr Right.
1. Do not make career decisions based on the preferences of men in your life:
Have you got a great opportunity someplace else and you think it might make you move far away from him so you decide to not accept the opportunity? Well, don’t, as it would be a mistake. If a relationship is meant to last, it will, no matter where you are. Don’t sacrifice your life goals for someone else. You both can figure out what works best for you. Maybe he can move with you.
Don’t make important decisions of your life based on what he wants, cos remember if it works, great, if not you will regret not doing what you really wanted to do.
2. Believe your gut instinct:
Do you have a reason to believe that he is ignoring you? Still, you assume you are being paranoid? Guess what, your gut instinct might be correct. Men force us to believe that we are crazy and that there is no reason to be worried about. Trust me a genuine relationship has no scope of ignorance. Constant communication and prioritizing your partner is a must. If he gives excuses and calls you crazy instead of working on making you feel better, turn around and walk away. It is just not worth it.
Do not try to reason yourself out of doubts when you feel something wrong in your relationship. You are not stupid. You are not hallucinating. Be sure to clear all your doubts before you continue. Better safe than heartbroken.
3. Prioritize yourself:
In my past relationship, I made the mistake of investing more on my partner and less on me. I let him fill a lot of my time and I had absolutely no time to chase my dreams. But relationships change and investing all your energy on others always does not end up with great returns. So focus 80% on yourself and 20% on others.
Prioritize your partner above others, but not above yourself.
4. A successful relationship is all about consistency:
You meet someone and things go great for few a weeks, then he starts to take you for granted and you think this is normal as when relation gets old people get laid back. Well, in reality, such relations don’t go well on a long-term. If you have the decency of not taking him for granted, he should do the same. The truth is if your relation was amazing initially and went bad with time and he seems to be less involved, well, it’s time to maybe rethink if it is really worth the trouble.
If he is too busy to communicate with you consistently, he is just not worth the effort. Do not waste your time. Just ignore him and move on. I know it is difficult when you like someone but trust me it will save you a lot of hurt and pain in the future.
5. Do not believe in ‘Could be’ relationship:
You might be in love with someone and realize it is not happening for you now, so you decide to hang around till the other person starts loving you back. Do yourself a favour and do not waste your time. You waiting around is just gonna let the other person use you as a backup as they are aware of your soft corner towards them. You are not worthless. Have some dignity and walk away.
Do not waste your time on someone who doesn’t love you for who you are. There are plenty of people out there who can’t get enough of you. Loving someone is a nice feeling, but knowing that someone else loves you is the BEST feeling.
6. Be with someone you trust:
Sounds simple, but it is actually the most difficult part to judge. Do you blindly believe the guy you are dating? If yes, he is the one; if not, do not even bother continuing this relationship. There is definitely a chance that you are being paranoid and he is trustworthy, but if a guy cannot build that trust in you, it is just of no use. You will be stressed out most of the time, spend most of your energy worrying if he is lying to you and at the end, both of you are stuck in a strained relationship. If you cannot trust someone just let them go.
Truly, trust is the foundation of any relationship. If that foundation is weak in your relation, do not even bother to build a life out of it. It will never work.
7. Be with someone who helps you grow:
I just cannot put enough emphasis on how important this is but a relationship means two people complementing and completing each other. The energies should be such that both of you grow and support each other. A right partner will not suck out all your energy but fill you with more to accomplish your dreams. Be with someone who is not self-involved and sees himself and you as a package deal.
Be with someone who will help you shine more not with the one who takes away your sparkle.
A truly worthy relationship just feels right. You don’t have to force yourself to hang on to it. It just happens naturally. If you need to work too hard and stress yourself out to hold on to someone, maybe it is not worth the effort. Analyze if you really think he is the one. Remember, many times we are just scared to let go of someone because of the change and void it will create in life. Hold on to someone for the right reasons.