I live in a country where people do not speak openly about sex. Sex before marriage is just unimaginable for our parents and society. Westernization has taught me otherwise. Being a fan of many TV-Sitcoms of the west I have learnt to be independent in decision making related to my love, life and sex.
The conflict of my culture with my thoughts has encouraged me to openly express myself and write about how losing virginity is just so much overhyped and overrated in many cultures.
1. Losing Virginity is Not Fun:
There are many things we do in life and enjoy the most when we do it for the first time. Sex is not one of them. Especially for a girl. It hurts like hell the first time and you just want it to stop.
The ‘first’ is never easy. So, I would suggest don’t overthink. Overthinking makes you tense and the experience might become harrowing. Just go with the flow. It will not be a pleasurable experience, but I promise you, it will be a lot easier.
2. Losing Virginity is Not Magical:
I have been watching Rom-Com’s my entire life and they make it look as if the ‘first’ is a life-changing experience. You would feel like a different person. Well, guess what, all that is just BULLSHIT.
The ‘first’ experience is painful, messy. Most of the time you don’t understand what you are supposed to do. You would want it to get over soon. So would it feel MAGICAL? I don’t think so, yeah, you will definitely feel extremely thankful that it is over.
3. Losing Virginity before Marriage is not a Sin:
You must be thinking what am I talking about. Well, this culture still prevails in many societies around the world. They train their kids in such a way that ‘sex’ becomes a sin if practised before marriage. Many men in arranged marriage actually ask the girl if she is a virgin or not. If not, there is a high possibility he would reject her. Well, ladies, if a man’s acceptance of you is based on the fact that you are a virgin or not; before he rejects you, reject him.
No man or society has the right to decide for you when you wanna break your hymen. It is your choice and trust me, losing virginity is not a sin but a relief. Once the deed is done, you will actually start enjoying sex.
4. Losing Virginity to ‘not your Mr Right’ is not a crime:
I have heard many of my friends say that they wanna wait for the right man to lose their virginity to. I respect that completely as it is their personal choice. But then lots of girls out there assume that if they lose it to a guy they are dating currently and break up with him in future, they will not enjoy the same feeling with their actual Mr Right.
Let me give you a clear picture, with my experience of course. The first experience is not magical, but painful. It is not passionate also. You just are scared and in pain. I am sure, that is not the experience you wait for years to share with your Mr Right.
The magical moment you wanna create with the right man, will not happen losing virginity to him. It is the intimacy and the connection you share, which makes it magical, you being a virgin or not just doesn’t matter. Sex with him will be magical and special always.
Scared to lose your VIRGINITY? I read a great article on the reasons why Virginity is Overrated.
Virginity is not a sacred thing which you need to preserve. You might want to wait for a nice considererate guy who makes your ‘first’ a little easier and bearable. But, if you think you are ready to do it, just go for it. Prejudice will always prevail in the society. To hell with people who their roll eyes. Its your life, your body. So, ladies break a leg…. Oops, I mean break a hymn!!!